Healing Hands

Hey there readers, 

I know it has been pretty much forever! Well there isn’t much reason for that other than I did move FINALLY! and I am constantly in chronic pain everyday all day. Newest thing happening over and over.. my hips are popping out of place and my legs are going numb and I am unable to walk. I DO not like this one bit! It’s scary painful and hard to get around. Another painful thing happening is my ankles are burning so bad I can barely stand .. It is awful! and as a a christian I stand on the promises the word of God. Isaiah 53:5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. The bible states we are healed in this scripture.. I believe it but sometimes it can be exhausting to wait on the manifestation of our healing. There is also plenty of scriptures where Jesus healed in the gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke and John… Every time he healed he required one thing of these people it was to step out in faith and act out in something he asked them to do, He straightened out a girls back who was bent over for years by telling her to just stand up and there hunch would be no more.. It happened.. she had faith even though in the natural there is NO possible way she could do that! She had tried before and couldn’t but because she had faith because Jesus told her too…waiting in expectation of the healer.. She was healed by her faith. Many times Jesus says in his word “Go now your faith has healed you” I want to be one these people who has faith, by faith I am healed. I want to be able to know Jesus is still FAITHFUL  the bible says in Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. That is so awesome, That means his healing power is still there, what’s cool is.. yeah they walked with Jesus and hung out with him.. but JESUS LIVES INSIDE US..  how awesome is that? We can call upon or speak out the authority he’s given us because he is inside of us that’s why we have that ability apart from God we couldn’t do any of this. So yes Jesus’s healing hands are upon you everyday, We just have to get to a place where we have the faith we need to believe that! Does that mean the healing will manifest when you want it to? Not always. Us, humans.. we give up so easily when we can’t see in the natural when all we feel is the pain and no change but God is saying if you could just live life BY FAITH not by SIGHT then you could tap into the blessings I have for you including my healing hands upon your body. In no way am I saying that it’s your fault you are sick or in pain or any of that, what I am saying is even if you die believing God wants to heal you at least you believed … I noticed in my 7months of dealing with this going through this pain basically daily.. It is so easy to lose faith … in chronic pain, when being tormented whether its physically, spiritually, emotional.. so easy to give up.. you are not in place of peace or able to hear God or feel God but HE IS ALWAYS THERE, he lives within us!! How crazy is that? I even forget this sometimes… we think oh he’s only up in heaven.. but no he lives within you … There is no way you would love with the kind of love you do with Jesus inside your heart! Anyway update: I just talked to Brittany the other wonderful woman who writes in here and her Grandma passed and went to be with the Lord.. Please keep her in prayer and her mom her entire family! The point of this blog is just to remind you Jesus hasn’t given up on you even in the pain he’s within you …Ask him personally what you need to do .. is it your faith? are you holding onto stress, anger, bitterness  anything that may be causing pain through out your heart, mind , body, spirit.. I encourage you to take time and figure out what you are feeling and thinking? Are speaking life into yourself, over your body, mind soul and spirit?! This is very important the Bible states Death and Life our in the power of the tounge James 3 .. We need to be reminded of this ..as much as possible! Trust in God his word and stand upon his promises. Oh and side note about health : I am in the process of juicing and trying that out for the pain and for health, also trying to do small amount of water aerobics 3x a week. Hasn’t been easy but you just have to keep trucking a long!

~CherishMarie

Herro.

I know it’s been a while since either Cherish or myself has posted anything.
I know she’s been moving and getting settled into her new place, plus having a lot of pain.
I have been busy with school and work and just generally trying to keep up with everything.
But just thought about herfitnessstory and thought I would make a post in good faith.

Nothing to report.

Still not dieting or exercising or making any other lifestyle changes just yet.
But  I do think working might help me lose weight by proxy
because once I get there I’m always doing something
and I’ve been forgetting to eat a lot lately.

Well, anyway.
Not sure anyone reads these except me and Cherish,
but hey sissy,
I made a post and it only took me like 3 weeks. Haha.

Haha, I was feeling kinda lost, and was praying and didn’t really know what to do. So I cracked open my bible, which is something I don’t do very often anymore and I open up to Luke 18. Parable of the Persistent Widow:

One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. “There was a judge in a certain city,” he said, “who neither feared God nor cared about hi8s people, A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying ‘Give me justice in this dispute with my enemy.’ The judge ignored her for a while, but finally he said to himself, “I don’t fear God or care about my people, but this woman is driving me crazy. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!”

The the Lord said “Learn a lesson from this unjust judge. Even he rendered a just decision in the end. SO don’t you think God will surely give justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will grant justice to them quickly! But when the SOn of Man returns, how many will he find on the earth who have faith?”

I’ve always felt very insecure in my ability to pray, but I know that even if it feels stupid, I shouldn’t be discouraged from doing it, because the Lord loves to hear our prayers and wants to help, we just have to reach out for his hand. If we continually press into the word and learn to lean on God in good and bad, we will see that we are afforded the answer to all of our issues and are given the biggest relief that any person can find.

No matter what your faith is, the unbearable becomes manageable when you don’t have to bear every burden on your own shoulders. Just that faith that something bigger than you is there wanting to help you is enough to spread the load and make it another day.

Fear Not :Joshua 1:9

I am baaaaaaaaack! So I have kinda been avoiding posting on here due to not wanting to spread my negative energy or attitude on any of you! To be completely honest I have been in a total funk for a good couple months now on and off but for the past 2 weeks its been unbearable even for me! As much as I love my mom, the way I was raised was pretty much ass backwards especially since my parents were raising me in the word of God and with morals and principals of a christian. God bless my moms beautiful heart, she never seem to get help for her issues she had from birth and so on…So that carried on into mine and my brothers life, I see it manifesting more in my life then his. She has carried a HUGE spirit of fear her whole life! There is plenty of reason in the natural realm she should hold onto this fear and she has every right to fear because she had plenty to be afraid of.When I found out the amount of abuse and pain my mom has dealt with her whole life it hurt me and I wondered why God would let her go through these things?! If he loved her so much, How could be possibly sit by and watch her suffer from birth even? Seemed so unfair! As I started to seek God more and more on this answer, He started to reveal to me how much he loves my mom. I would cry and ask but God then why? He would speak to my spirit I’ve given you ALL free will. It was their choice to treat her poorly and abuse her, their choice to hurt her, but another thing God just kept making clear to me … is FEAR NOT.. I cried and cried asking God how is that possible when I was raised by the queen of fear?!?! Afraid of anything and everything..Truly bound up by it. God also showed me he fights for us, and its true you Reap what you sow! Those people who hurt, mistreated, abused my mom etc. They will reap that… God def has grace and mercy that is completely sufficent for us but I am learning we truly do reap what we sow. Anyway back to FEAR, It has crippled my mom and even me for pretty much our whole life, but I’m ready to live in the freedom of the fear we have in Christ Jesus! That is the most used commandment of the bible or what God says over and over in every single book of the bible HE SAYS FEAR NOT FOR I AM WITH YOU! One scripture that I have memorized since I was little is … Perfect Love Cast Out All Fear,  its in 1Peter  and awesome thing about is …God is perfect love so If you have him living within you.. he can cast out ALL your fear and doubt if you allow him to! God is such a gentleman and didn’t want us to feel like slaves but children of his love..He gave us free will and waits on us to invite him In… in not only our hearts! …but in every area of our life! I have walked with the Lord my entire life and I’m still learning this!!! Its so hard to live as a human on this earth and be filled in the spirit at the same time…that’s why we feel like an Aliens when we accept him in our heart and still walk around here on earth! We automatically want to be face to face with our father ..the Author of Peace but we have to wait on his return! Point of this blog…Fear is a natural response ..it is a human emotion.. so yes we all fear.. but I am realizing little by little when I let God in, when I give him the invitation to ravish my heart and to overtake my life ..When I trust him enough to do this..Its more than worth It everytime! I’ve been bundled up in fear for way too long.. Like a comfortable blanket of fear, self pity, LIES!  No more! I challenge you to go through the bible and find how many different times God says fear not I go before you.. or just commands us not to fear …Let it manifest in your spirit!!! Promise to write soon! ♥ Be Fearless Warriors

*Cherish Marie*

Four Things.

1) The only difference between left and right is the difference man created be able to differentiate his two sides.

2) A crushed velvet painting of mountains covered in flowers.

3) Technically the color PINK doesn’t exist. It is not on the visible spectrum and it is not a particle or a wave. It is a scientific conundrum.

4) Water tastes like silence sounds like.

Real Women.

Listen, ladies.
Am I about to have to go Tina Fey in Mean Girls on you?
I am sick and tired of women acting like little girls.
How are you honestly supposed to build yourself up
by tearing other people down?
You’re not taller just cos you pushed someone on the ground?
Ya feel me?
I’m tired of these petty games and this “I’m too grown” BS.
Cos guess what.
I am not all the way grown yet
and I still have enough sense to know that I need to work on myself before I even ever think about pointing out someone else’s flaws.
I got my own log to worry about
I am not thinking about other people’s twigs.
Ya heard?
Gentlemen, I don’t know what to say to you,
as I don’t really understand how y’all function.
But really ladies,
it’s time to woman up
and either reach your hand out to your fellow females
or simply walk away.
You ain’t gotta like someone,
but if you got the time to sit and be catty,
you should find something better to do with your time.

Empress’ New Wardrobe.

I’ve got one week of school under my belt.
I have done way too much shopping,
and although I’ve been irresponsible with my money,
I’m pleased with my growing wardrobe.
For the first time in my life, my closet is full of
clothes that fit and that I want to wear.

I got the job at dressbarn.
My first day is Wednesday at 10:00 am.
I guess I’m finally starting to look forward
to my first day,but I’m not looking forward
to having to tell my new manager that there
are certain days I won’t be able to work mornings.
Because my online teacher is a fascist and is making
us take our tests at 10 am on Saturdays and is only allowing us
15 minutes to log into the test.
If we miss the window we’re screwed.
That defeats the purpose of taking an online class.

Ultimately, I know everything is going to work out.
I know that within me is the strength to work and go to school
simultaneously like a normal person.
The lord can be thanked for that.
Also, I know that everything will be fine with this online class.
It’ll be most hard class this quarter, but I’m confident.

Dirty.

I don’t even want to post a picture with this one.
I feel disgusting and dirty.

Ever since I was a kid I have gotten cold sores.
This is inconvenient at least and
painful at worst, but the worst
kind of pain goes deeper than that.

As I mentioned, I have experienced
the physical manifestations of
the herpes simplex virus since grade school.
More specifically, I tussle with
Herpes Labialis…
which just means lip herpes.

I can’t remember my first cold sore,
but I can remember kids in grade school teasing me.
Specifically a boy named Eleazar who always
tormented me about anything and everything.

Eleazar tormented me about being
as white as paper, having a mustache,
having boobs, about being fat in general.
(even though, he was also chunky)
(in my experience, it’s only fat guys that call you fat)
Eleazar pulled my hair, snapped my bra,
tripped me, yelled at me,
and one day he just looked at me
and my cold sore
and turned to the class and told everyone they shouldn’t talk to me.
Even my best friend forsake me on that day.
But I forgave her.
Quickly.
Because I was ten years old,
and she was my only friend.

I remember middle school.
I remember having cold sores,
and I remember gym locker rooms.
I remember the words Amanda Gilbert said
that I will never forget.

“Brittany sucked a dirty dick.”

I was twelve years old.

Amanda Gilbert never locked her locker,
because she was lazy.
Or maybe she was too dumb to remember her combination.

Well, that day, when I was in the front office,
calling my mom and asking her to take me home
because I didn’t feel well,
some mysterious vandal took Amanda’s combo lock,
locked it around her bra strap
and pad locked it to the doors of the gym.
they took her brand new Skechers
and shoved them in the toilet.
This anonymous vigilante must have been crazed,
because they took all of her clothes and books
and backpack and everything in her locker and
threw them up on top of the gym.

Everything except for her lip gloss,
which may or may not have been contaminated.
Who knows?

But it most certainly couldn’t have been me.
After all, I had an airtight alibi.

I am almost 27 years old.
And I still haven’t forgotten those words.
I don’t know why I was the target of bullies from
grade school through high school.
Nobody has bullied me in nearly a decade.
(Except for one particularly aggressive and
inconsiderate boyfriend, but I honestly don’t
think he was malicious, just kind of socially impaired)
But, somehow, I let the things they said
appear in my mind any time a cold sore
appears on my lip.

I feel so ashamed and dirty
whenever I get a cold sore.
I feel like I really do look like a dirty slut.
Which is partially abhorrent to me because
I have spent so much of my life being good.

The topping on the cake is the fact that
I have a job interview today.
And I really want to work in a clothing store again.
And even though I wasn’t totally jazzed about
this interview, I certainly wasn’t going to
sabotage myself.

Nature did that for me.
So, I’m just going to try to highlight
all of my best assets, and pray to God
that I can shine brighter than the
skin that is painfully stretched over my lip.

I will woman up and literally
smile through the pain.

All I can do is my best and
trust God to do the rest.

Hope.

I’m still hopeful for my life and future.
Glad I’ve got such good people around me.

Slacking

Dear Readers,
Sorry I’ve been slacking in writing.
This week has been CRAZY busy! I am still, after many months am trying to figure out how to cope with fibromyalgia and what I can and can’t do without suffering later on from my choices!  From Monday to Sat I barely rested. I was out with my fellow blogger and best friend Brittany searching for jobs and trying to be a grown up! BEING A GROWN UP SUCKS! I suppose that’s why I find a crazy amount of peace and joy in watching Disney movies 🙂 Anyway I wont keep you long because I will write a proper post later! As Brittany posted in her last blog please pray for us as we have our interviews, Brittany has chose not to pursue the Famous Daves interview which I think is good… if you feel something in your spirit you should NEVER ignore it! 😉 Brittany has an interview at DressBarn wed at 4…She would rock at that job so I hope she gets it .. I think there is a little fear there for her she may blow her money if she works there but God will teach her self control and help her save! I on the other hand had an interview at a christian coffee shop which would be perfect for me at this point in my life! I am waiting on the call but he’s only had 2 days to think… Still God is faithful SOOOO faithful! In my next blog I will post about the retreat in the mountains I just got back from on sat. Tomorrow at 11am I have an interview at a gas station I don’t really want this job… but it could be where God wants me for awhile…I will spend plenty of time in prayer about it in then in quiet for an answer! Anything I can pray for you lovely readers about? If so, don’t be shy …leave a comment and I will 🙂 well I need more rest so for now I must go my weight is still fluctuating keeps going from 219-221 … I’d love to be out of 200s by end of summer or beggining ..that may be my new goal! Well Godbless all of ya 😉 shall write again soon

*Cherish Marie*